Friday, September 21, 2012

Seeking inspiration, hope to inspire

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated this blog. And it’s not due to a lack of time but rather inspiration. Reading back all the previous post I can sense a lot of resentment in the past. I’ve mellowed since then. But I’m still trying to find my place in this world. There is still a hole in my heart. A god shaped hole that can only be filled by… well… God. That’s why I constantly feel a longing for something. 

While googling it I stumble upon a blog that struck a chord with me. Reading it almost had me in tears. It was speaking to me. I now know I’m not alone. The writer continues to explain that this sense of belonging drives us to seek for something better. 


“It’s that innate human desire for something more, something bigger, something better that leads us to discovery. None of the inventions of man could have happened without that human quality we all have that drives us to always be seeking something else” 

I can certainly relate to this, seeking for something better and to be better. I had an epiphany one day at work while of all places walking out of the rest room. I stood at the door looking over my working area and came to realise that this is not where I want to be and not what I want to do. 

But this realization didn’t come instantly. It was brewing over some time now. I recently met someone who has helped me realise what I want and pointed out as clearly as day that I not really happy here. My happiest time was at a place where being myself was easy. In that environment was where I could strive. That life back then made sense to me. Not this monotonous, repetitious and apathetic day to day existence. With that I’ve decided to make plans and preparation for my impending departure next year. 

With new beginning, new surroundings, new environment I can then begin to seek for the hole to be filled. But it’s no longer a “God-Shaped hole” but rather a LIFE-SHAPED HOLE. And the only way to fill it is by living. 

Thank you. I hope I inspire you as much as you inspire me :-). I promise I'll will write to you. Not email, not Facebook, not MSN, but write letters, the traditional way.