Solace

The other day I happen to get a glimpse of my auntie praying (berdoa) after sembahyang. I just came back from work. It was around Maghrib. After parking, I saw her through her window, hands held up and eyes close. I can only imagine what she is praying for. She is in her late 60s and never married and lives with her siblings. I’m actually very close to her, I consider her my mum than my real mum. She raised me when I was young. She is my mum’s older sister. I started to wonder what it is she is praying for; could it be for companion, could it be for health, could it be for happiness, could it for love, could it be forgiveness or repenting. Whatever it was she was really praying for it. I couldn’t help my tears flowing down my eyes because I too was looking for those intangible emotional solaces. Basically guidance to show me the right path. My family told me I need to get away again. So I’m tempted to dig into my savings and go for further studies again. Maybe to somewhere far like the US, Canada or UK. Choices were made; things were said that cannot be undone. I have to live them. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.